Friday, October 27, 2006

Raya's Open House Questionairs !!!!

Yeah.....as usual the 'Open House'is on air again.
The 'Open House' trend catches up fast in past 20 years particular among the urban semi's and detached housing area.
Guest or unexpected guest arrive in various style.Not to mention the icons host will be expecting tons of guest arriving at their door steps.Thus,you will find the extra allowances given to our YB's and to selected Senior Civil Servant to cater for such occassion.

Shoulder rubbing,spinning,ear dropping and gossiping are common dominating factors to catch the current issues of the day, particularly if the resources comes from a prominent member.Rival and open house clashes are common.

So and so open house wah....got extra special.showlah ....a Belly Dancer and an Ghazal Partylahperforming.
Better than Mr.X house... so boring....Mr Y house got BBQ 'daging kuda you?
Well....what ever it is in the sprit of Malaysian togetherness is an honorable intention.

Beware folk you might be the unwelcome guest of honour on that particular day or most probably your presence would be the host worst nightmare of the year.
Ethic are to be observe and show.

Its the show of the year folks......so make sure you turn up decently dress and not with your season bermuda shorts and T-Shirt written 'I LOVE PHUKET' bought some 10 years ago but then if you purposely wanna be the 'clown of the day' than go ahead....be my guest.
Take my advise better dress in a sarong pelekat is better instead of a bermuda shorts and sleveless T-Shirt looking like you jes' completed a 300kg weight lifting from the gym!
The very least you tutup aurat beb!

Eating:hmmm.....don't wallop all lah...you might need an ENO later.

What to talk,any warranted or unwarranted comment? or just be a dumbo,
like Forrest Gump!
Buat don't know aje !

Host :Dah makan?
Guest : Dah.
Host : dah minum?
Guest : Dah.
Host : 'apa lagi baliklah?
Guest : #%&#@()!!

Unless your list of credential goodness me !!! shows you got impressive
string of Oxford or Cambridge U or Harvard with a First,like our neighbour minister,then it is better to shut up !!!

Believe me, those are the least known people shoving their accent in slight mieo....www..slang.What we call them "The Sloane Ranger."
Those are the people who know nuts about other people misery.
Take my advise.Let the devil does the talking!
Unless you want to be known as the best orator of the day,by all means go ahead.

To some hosts its Showwwww............time.
Probably you are on a mission to fulfil your mum wishes to wed you off immediatedly after Raya,then this is a good spot to check up for the lastest available in the market.Cash and Carry Agreement !!
Hmmmm......maka datok punyanya lawa kau!!!! tapi sopfisketot !!!

However,intresting issues raises during the first Hari Raya
The whole nation I suppose(only the concerned one) was dumb struck with our t.v's news at 8 pm on the main channel.
I am not too sure whether I heard it correctly but after a while I ponder, how could those pre production cast 'tergamak' mengeluarkan berita sedemikian on the first day of shawal?
(Kalau dah..... punya episod!)

First day of shawal beb...!.
God's forgive the sins of his slave on this particular day only if you are a believer.Tak masok akal betul !!

Anyway,political antedotes and good pantun always comes in handy at Open Houses gathering.Bahasa Kiasan will determine your level of social standing,either you are highy look up as a mad scholar or just any lame Mamat,Samy Mucho or Ah Chong.

So guys,for the first timer be prepared.You don't want to remembered as a 'Stoggers' don't you?.
Look sharp and have the b***s to stick up your neck out in name of honor.
Get a copy 'Adap for Idiots'Special Edition preparing for the big occasion.
Is there such a book? or if you are highly powered 'think-tong-tank' answer the questionairs given as a check list on your current knowledge based on our present political senario,before you embark to any serious talk at any Open Houses gathering you wishes to attend.
Least you know the level of your social standing among the crowd!!!

Happy Raya's Open House To All.

To all those siting for SPM/STPM examination 2006
Pak Tuo wishes you all the best.
Particularly my dearest Aimi.hmmmmm........

OPINION POLLS ON OUR PREMIER FITTING ACCORING TO AL-FARABI DEFINATION 15 CHARACTERISTIC OF AN IDEAL LEADER.

WHICH OF THE TWO ARE CLOSEST TO THE DEFINATION.
TIPS: JUST ASK YOURSELF AND TICK THE NUMBERS YOU FIND WHICH CANDIDATE BEST SUITED BY THE DEFINATION.CIRCLE OR TICK THE NUMBERS FOR YOUR PREFERENCES
No.1 for Pak Lah
No.2.for Tun
No.3.for Don't Know

a. Excellent understanding and
the abilityto quickly observe
and grasp what he is told.
1 2 3

b. Possesses the power to recollect
what he hears,reads, senses is not
forgetful.
1 2 3

c. Highly intellectual; can understand
the direction of a group from which
an idea is generated.
1 2 3

d. Eloquence, and ability to express
what is inthe heart.
1 2 3

e. Passion for education and seeks its
benefits for all citizens.
1 2 3

f. Must not tire easily and be
exceedingly patient.
1 2 3

g. Not greedy for food and drink.
1 2 3

h. Efficient and effective in
addressing the physical needs.
1 2 3

i. A lover of the truth and its supporters;
a hater offalsehood and its supporters.
1 2 3

j. Quickly recognizes duplicitous people.
1 2 3

k. Extremely generous, above stinginess.
1 2 3

l. Worldly wealth must not be a factor;
whether it is possessed or not should
be of no concern.
1 2 3

m. Loves justice and freedom.
1 2 3

n. Rejects oppressors and oppression.
1 2 3

o. Firmly decides the course that will
benefit society, despite intense opposition
1 2 3

4 comments:

simah said...

ENO... that i think is a must bring in the handbag masa raya... *eno melegakan*...

dia memang berkesan...
The funny thing is.. kat sini... masa zaman dulu dulu..eno memang ada.. but to some unknown reasons.. dah tak ada dah.. so the older generation kat sini bila dah termakan terlampau banyak dessert... mula la nak cari ubat itu ini..n they were saying.. (in turkish) *kalaulah masih ada lagi eno kat siniiii*...

*open house* is really a great concept.. tapi kepada tukang masak... kesian jugak kan..mesti dia penat.. :0)..

Pak Tuo said...

Salam Simah,

yeslah...I agree sekejap ada..sekejap tak ada.
I prefer a glass of air suam bila bangun pagi and pisang emas.
Anyway hope you hada a good Raya In Istambul with your love one.
Kalau balik cuti singgahlah rumah.

Wassalam

ruby said...

Hi Pak Tuo,

Eno? As for me, I always have a supply of 'immodium' with me just in case sakit perut, I mean food poisoning as a quick emergency measure. It is sold at Guardian.

But I agree pisang emas is mujarab.

Open house ni, is more about bersillatul-rahim ie kind, sincere and warm interactions with family members and friends.

Pak Tuo said...

Ruby Dear,

So so sorry for the late reply due to commitment.
Yes,agree with you absolutely.

Wasallam.