Raya's Open House Questionairs !!!!

Yeah.....as usual the 'Open House'is on air again.
The 'Open House' trend catches up fast in past 20 years particular among the urban semi's and detached housing area.
Guest or unexpected guest arrive in various style.Not to mention the icons host will be expecting tons of guest arriving at their door steps.Thus,you will find the extra allowances given to our YB's and to selected Senior Civil Servant to cater for such occassion.

Shoulder rubbing,spinning,ear dropping and gossiping are common dominating factors to catch the current issues of the day, particularly if the resources comes from a prominent member.Rival and open house clashes are common.

So and so open house wah....got extra special.showlah ....a Belly Dancer and an Ghazal Partylahperforming.
Better than Mr.X house... so boring....Mr Y house got BBQ 'daging kuda you?
Well....what ever it is in the sprit of Malaysian togetherness is an honorable intention.

Beware folk you might be the unwelcome guest of honour on that particular day or most probably your presence would be the host worst nightmare of the year.
Ethic are to be observe and show.

Its the show of the year folks......so make sure you turn up decently dress and not with your season bermuda shorts and T-Shirt written 'I LOVE PHUKET' bought some 10 years ago but then if you purposely wanna be the 'clown of the day' than go ahead....be my guest.
Take my advise better dress in a sarong pelekat is better instead of a bermuda shorts and sleveless T-Shirt looking like you jes' completed a 300kg weight lifting from the gym!
The very least you tutup aurat beb!

Eating:hmmm.....don't wallop all lah...you might need an ENO later.

What to talk,any warranted or unwarranted comment? or just be a dumbo,
like Forrest Gump!
Buat don't know aje !

Host :Dah makan?
Guest : Dah.
Host : dah minum?
Guest : Dah.
Host : 'apa lagi baliklah?
Guest : #%&#@()!!

Unless your list of credential goodness me !!! shows you got impressive
string of Oxford or Cambridge U or Harvard with a First,like our neighbour minister,then it is better to shut up !!!

Believe me, those are the least known people shoving their accent in slight mieo....www..slang.What we call them "The Sloane Ranger."
Those are the people who know nuts about other people misery.
Take my advise.Let the devil does the talking!
Unless you want to be known as the best orator of the day,by all means go ahead.

To some hosts its Showwwww............time.
Probably you are on a mission to fulfil your mum wishes to wed you off immediatedly after Raya,then this is a good spot to check up for the lastest available in the market.Cash and Carry Agreement !!
Hmmmm......maka datok punyanya lawa kau!!!! tapi sopfisketot !!!

However,intresting issues raises during the first Hari Raya
The whole nation I suppose(only the concerned one) was dumb struck with our t.v's news at 8 pm on the main channel.
I am not too sure whether I heard it correctly but after a while I ponder, how could those pre production cast 'tergamak' mengeluarkan berita sedemikian on the first day of shawal?
(Kalau dah..... punya episod!)

First day of shawal beb...!.
God's forgive the sins of his slave on this particular day only if you are a believer.Tak masok akal betul !!

Anyway,political antedotes and good pantun always comes in handy at Open Houses gathering.Bahasa Kiasan will determine your level of social standing,either you are highy look up as a mad scholar or just any lame Mamat,Samy Mucho or Ah Chong.

So guys,for the first timer be prepared.You don't want to remembered as a 'Stoggers' don't you?.
Look sharp and have the b***s to stick up your neck out in name of honor.
Get a copy 'Adap for Idiots'Special Edition preparing for the big occasion.
Is there such a book? or if you are highly powered 'think-tong-tank' answer the questionairs given as a check list on your current knowledge based on our present political senario,before you embark to any serious talk at any Open Houses gathering you wishes to attend.
Least you know the level of your social standing among the crowd!!!

Happy Raya's Open House To All.

To all those siting for SPM/STPM examination 2006
Pak Tuo wishes you all the best.
Particularly my dearest Aimi.hmmmmm........

OPINION POLLS ON OUR PREMIER FITTING ACCORING TO AL-FARABI DEFINATION 15 CHARACTERISTIC OF AN IDEAL LEADER.

WHICH OF THE TWO ARE CLOSEST TO THE DEFINATION.
TIPS: JUST ASK YOURSELF AND TICK THE NUMBERS YOU FIND WHICH CANDIDATE BEST SUITED BY THE DEFINATION.CIRCLE OR TICK THE NUMBERS FOR YOUR PREFERENCES
No.1 for Pak Lah
No.2.for Tun
No.3.for Don't Know

a. Excellent understanding and
the abilityto quickly observe
and grasp what he is told.
1 2 3

b. Possesses the power to recollect
what he hears,reads, senses is not
forgetful.
1 2 3

c. Highly intellectual; can understand
the direction of a group from which
an idea is generated.
1 2 3

d. Eloquence, and ability to express
what is inthe heart.
1 2 3

e. Passion for education and seeks its
benefits for all citizens.
1 2 3

f. Must not tire easily and be
exceedingly patient.
1 2 3

g. Not greedy for food and drink.
1 2 3

h. Efficient and effective in
addressing the physical needs.
1 2 3

i. A lover of the truth and its supporters;
a hater offalsehood and its supporters.
1 2 3

j. Quickly recognizes duplicitous people.
1 2 3

k. Extremely generous, above stinginess.
1 2 3

l. Worldly wealth must not be a factor;
whether it is possessed or not should
be of no concern.
1 2 3

m. Loves justice and freedom.
1 2 3

n. Rejects oppressors and oppression.
1 2 3

o. Firmly decides the course that will
benefit society, despite intense opposition
1 2 3

School of Hard Knockers

TO ALL DEAR FRIENDS WISHING YOU
'Selamat Hari Raya Adil Fitri'

Dah lah tu...Baliklah - Student Nostalgic 1978-1984

I feel nostalgic today,looking back at the long and winding road which I took over the years.The memories came running after Fahmy my eldest came home yesterday with a couple of his band wagon from campus.Yes,Fahmy is reading Law at Ahmad Ibrahim Kuliyyah of Law IIU,Gombak.Seeing those fresh faces,determine and daring to go remind me of my hey days including Zees's at UKM where else I go abroad.
Well,actually they came for Mak Su's home warming tahlil cum berbuka at her new house.Congratulation Mak Su,those back aching days are over.In matter of fact Mak Su's bought the house as a gift to apak and mak.She and Mak Teh boards with apak all this while. Mak Su's decided to get a spacious space,after considering current Apak's and Mak's health condition.
Well Apak,it a long story.I will tell about this great man later in the blog.
Keep in tourch bloggers.The story of The Unsung Hero.

Seeing Fahmy's mate from campus brings back memories of 1980's, when I first steps the shore of good olde England.As George Bernard Shaw once wrote 'if you are tired of London,you're tired of life' how true.
London remind me of the laughters ,cries and friendship I developed over the years and uptill today I am still the 'God Father' to my buddy Julian daughter Zsa-Zsa.
Those memories are precious.I might take the wrong steps but it was a learning how to learn process and learned it I do.
How could I forget the cold winter Raya's,hot summer raya, queing for a plate of mee siam and a twick of kueh raya at Malaysian Hall 42,Bryston Sq.W1
How could I forget sitting for exams in the middle of Raya?
How could I forget sleeping at Forgensee Lake,Black Forest Germany,the free flow of River Rhur and the auto bahn trampping during Raya 1983 with Tajam.

Hmmmm..it is part of me. In this bless month, I ask forgiveness from friends where ever you are.Some of them are still in Europe and USA for the reasons they themselves knows best.
All I can say.'...BEB..DAHLAH TU BALIKLAH !,ayam itik pun ada reban tau!!'
When meeting with friends when asked:'......amacam?
my standard answer is '..alahai....umur makin meningkat tapi amal tak kemana pun!

To my mates over there and here:
Rommel(USA),Daud mamak lu kat mana ni?,Jamal Oxford (merajuk with the living situation in Malaysia after serving well for the country),Azam Kuntek and Bababra in Zurich dah lah tu..kuntek,Boe,Jamil Balham,Zaini (aircraft designer),Apek Zul.Tajam,Ajim Warwick,Amok Super Tank,Man Cowboy (alah.. lu dah kaya cowboy lu lupa gua eh!!),Tadjri,Sheila London,Ramlah Sarawak,Kamik,Dollah Ce'Lagi,Tajul,Zak,Mus Guitar,Badak.. (lu macam tu jugak Badak?),Jamil Alor Star,(how could I forget you!)Sharifah,Nadjwa,Ija,Puspha Hempstead Heath,Nor Light,etc..etc...

My High School buddies : Juara Pendek,Isa Majid,Nuraddin,Amran,Rosman Benggali,Yazid Kadok,Yazid Alias and Yazid Kassim and those whom I know but did not mention here:

'SELAMAT HARI RAYA Dan Maaf Zahir dan Batin'

I know some of you won't be reading this rubbish....

Zee's:all mates at UKM 1978-83 graduates of Komsis 'A' :Che Rahim,now a Prof.Shidah,Rose,Nan,Rosie,Soria,and the list goes on........

tiada junjung sebarang junjung,
junjung duli paduka seri
tiada gunung sebarang gunung
gunung bonda anakanda tak terdaki.
First Day To School B.H.E.S 1966

Balik kamponglah hoi...On the way home for Raya 1985 after missing 5 Raya's in a row.

Raya Student Nostalgic 1978-1984- Vol 2

**Yes,that's the beauty of being a student.Trouble and worry free.From Left to Right:Scottish Steve,Iqbal(South Africa)Kamal Khan(Pakistan),Long John Simon(Eng)Anna Fardingo(Portugal)Rozy(M'sia),Caroline Hawthrope.Taken on Urban Renewal Comparative Planning Study Tour with City of Amsterdam 1984.

**It all started 32 years ago,1974 to be precise.Taken 1977 on a school field trip.

**same as anywhere,girls does the studying the boys does the thinking!

**I suppose like any student era,there will always be flockers.(Mat Ampit)

**I suppose other places means of travelling differs from one another.Zee's campus mates,crusing on a tongkang.God knows where they were heading.

**Rayas on the Road with Daud 1984.If Iam not mistaken somewhere near Bois France.

Raya Student Nostalgic 1978-1984- Vol 1

**Arwah Gaffar,Yours Truely,Carlo Italian neighbour and Rozan taken University Village,Old Kent Road 1981.

**Nor Light the Star.Taken Raya Haji trip to Hasting 1883

**Rommel Sidek and Daud where are you man?

**First Winter Raya 1980 with house mate Eja.She's doing very well indeed now.

**Yes,Julian Rota my flat buddy,Eddy and Ely my neighbour at 10,Westbourne Park Villa,W9 London.Taken at Rayas B-B-Q 1984.Eddy your African word of wisdom still do apply today man!

**A small gathering at Oxford with Jamal,Meor Me,Daud and a few of Jamal's neighbours,Raya's 1983 Oxford.Jamal is quite a think tank at Oxford U now so I hear.Meor operated his Akitek firm with MAA last I hear.Daud,yes mamak where are you?

Raya Nostalgic Vol.3 - My Kebaya Queen

**Bonda ku tahu apa sebenarnya perjalanan anak-anknya.Tidak perlu diperjelaskan padanya.Tanpa kata-kata hikmahmu Bonda siapalah aku.

**Bonda ku,letih perih mu biarkan aku tanggunggi supaya perjalanan ke AlKautar mu lancar tanpa sebarang halangan.Cuma satu permintaan anak mu ini waktu pulang kerja jangan suroh saya buat teh petang lagi dan set table untuk kita kalian bersantapan.
Ya...itu my tugas saban hari waktu membesar,tanggung jawab ku preapare Teh for all.

**Sunggoh aku nyatakan ibu adalah 'Kebaya Lady'.Collectionnya tidak berlebihana sekira dinyatakan boleh dimuatkan satu lori kecil.Batik Jawanya Halus and Asli. Estatic valuenya sekarang sehelai boleh mencecah ribuan ringgit.Kerana pembuatan Batik Jawa dahulu yang begitu harus.Mungkin saperti Persian/Turkish silk carpet on parnya valuenya sekarang.

Raya Nostalgic Vol.2 -Kasih nya Ayah dan Ibu

**Long before ujudnya 'My Teamnya'ayah aku udah punya his team and a good team player too.

**aku daif waktu dilahirkan biarlah aku mati didalam kedaifan tapi Kaya dalam perbuatan bak kata pujangga 'manusia mati meninggalkan nama'.Taken Hari Raya 1960

**Papa JAK and Ibu Emma My God Father.Taken Hari Raya 1953 - baru kahwin

**Ayah dan Ibu Emma plus nenek and Atuk.Taken during Hari Raya 1938 at Bukit Tinggi,as usual studio photography was mostly operated by Japanese immigrant as per this one.From recorded it noted at Galari Sutdi Potograpi Katmisan.Bulit Tinggi

**The Iron Lady-Firm but Loving Till death Depart.

**Bonda pun boleh tahan,bersocial hebat!!!

Hari Raya -Down In Memory Lane Vol.1

**It's mambo and Cha-Cha time.Ayah 'The Bachelor Boy'

Ayah and his Gang at one of the Rayas mind you he's quite a play-boy.

**Bonda ku Gadis Sunti celebrate her Eid at her Garanny's house I think its take some where 1952???

**Bila Papa Pakai Baju Raya - Al Fatihah to both of them On The Left Pak Sharif man with the camera I mean real camera freak back in the 60's name it his camera collection amazing ...all the old nikon a the getz made..Right my Papa Idrus at one point in time his dreams was to be Kassim Selamat..no joke a sax blower and dammed good at it.I have always call him Papa Nandung coz'of his sax blowing.

***other people has other reasons to celebrate Eid,so do all deed and creeds.

Ya Haq Ya Qayull Qayum- Hasbin Nal Allah Ya Nikmah Wa'Akil

Terasa Sejuk dijiwa ini
bila mendengar takbir mu
lalu aku sahut dalam senyum sinis..
kau yang haq
menggigil aku mencari pengertian mu
merantau kami untuk mengenal mu
berlapar kami diajar oleh mu
terdengkur kami mengenang mu
bersyhadu kami teringat kalam mu
tersungkur kami mengenang dosa terdahulu
bertabur kami memberi kerana mu

Tanpa kau aku ....mati
Tanpa aku pasti sangsi

Aku lari.. mencari
aku nari.. menyerah diri
aku tantang penoh kemanjaan
aku lindungi saban semalaman
supaya mengenal hanya yang hakiki
supaya tubuh mu ini akur
dan tidak pernah dengkur dalam dengungan

A Minang Joke

I bet as any social group there plentyfull of jokes, witty one I mean to explain the social fabric of the society.
Yes I am 'Minang Murtad' but I am able to understand the conversation pretty well.
When I was growing up when arwah atuk converse to me in his thick minang accent I will aswer in Malay.

It happens to me now.
Two of my nephews are in London grew up there.They specks English as any English does with a slight accent.
Every time I phone I will conversed in Malay but he would answer me in English.
Lah.... terkena kat batang hidung sendiri sekarang.

Anyway back to a minang joke..see this guy complaining to his friend,

'keceliak mato..karajo..karajo hingapan malam
omak den kabari,apo karajo,
ni lallui mato karjo hingapan malam.
goyang..goyang kaki den kapiti sanggag diurang.

kapulang karumah si padusi manyo bara
piti bawok pulang.he......lah sipadusi kaceriak dilabur hai.

Its a joke about the gender domination of women over men in the society of 'Adat Perpatih'.

Well,bloggers you have to have that minang time frame to caught the hilarious meaning.

Anyway do share with me any joke about any anything from various race craddle.I do need any jokeor antedotes from Boyan,Jawa Pekat,Madura,Batak,Siam,Betawi and mind you, Betawi has awesome good jokes,Always about Pak Kiai or abot Pak Kiai Batawi pergi or pulang aji,even tha late Alahyarham Benjamin S himself a Betawian is as good as Bob Hope.His stand up comedy is class.Wish Aflin Shyki could pick up.
Anyone whom wishes to share, the line is open.
Ileave my email open and all are welcome.

Alfatiha to Allayarhama Seha.Such a pity her cute little daughter is alone this Hari Raya so do all the anak yatim piatu all over the world.Spare a thought to them is a noble practice.

Once a tickel thought wrote 'I love myself better when I laugh'.

Selamat berbuka.

10 People I Knew who doesn't practice Poligami - a ticker thought

1. My father in law - youooooo...man....what a man !

2. My Papa & in Jak with 10 children - yes ......a BIG YES !

3. My Bang Long - maaaaaaaaaan !

4. My papa - smooth guy...many years of marriage with the only child.Full Moon Guy.
My other papa even with 3 disable children yet with full force maintain as
sole bread winner and still going strong even have to work at 60.

5. My Uda & Uni ....hmmm my love and devotion

6. My Atuk Alym.Temenggong Pakeh .....remain a bachelor till death depart

7. My Alym.Tok Ngah - Loving and Caring.Well remember for his badminton jumping smash at 65 years of age.

8. My adap teacher - Alym.Tuan Hj.Ibrahim Bongek

9. My saksi on my nikah - Alym.Tuan Hj.Manan

10. off course........... My AYAH.....yours truly.

the List could go on
yes benda tu Halal but.........

Al Fatihah to my beloved one.

Count Down to Al Qadri

Count Down to Laitul Qadar...Yallah ya.yaakhir

Grap it and do Hit and Run.Home Run they call it!!!!!!!!!!!

20 Dalils Why Dr M is a Real Malaysian Hero

==============================================================
**copy and paste WITH PERMISSION from owner :
'The Superman - THE CREATIVE MIND' - What and How do you Think?
http://amirhafizi.blogspot.com/2006/10/20-reasons-why-dr-m-is-real-malaysian.html
***** Untuk Terjemahan Ke Bahasa Melayu sila lawat ke
http://amirhafizi.blogspot.com/2006/10/masukan-bahasa-melayu-20-dalil-mengapa.html
==============================================================

1. Whenever Dr M has an idea, an electro-magnetic pulse is discharged from his head, damaging all electronic devices within a 100km radius.

2. Dr M’s right hand is also his left hand.

3. An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Unless it’s Dr M. In that case, you’re on your own, sucka.

4. Dr M’s bush-jackets are made from real bush.

5. Dr M once went to hell. He managed to get elected as Prime Minister and organize enough funds to put out the fires and air-condition the damn place.

6. Dr M’s brain can be seen from outer space.

7. Dr M uses Cerebro as a pocket calculator.

8. Every night, Dr M smoothes out the wrinkles on his brain with a National iron set at ‘linen’.

9. Dr M once ‘out-spreadsheet’ Microsoft Excel.

10. When Dr M goes on a war of words, the casualty list would be equal to the first and second world wars.

11. Dr M never curses. If he did, a 1000-megaton thermonuclear explosion would happen.

12. David Blaine once performed his famous levitation trick in front of Dr M. Unimpressed, Dr M bought David Blaine, tied him to a string, and used him as a balloon for his granddaughter’s birthday party.

13. Dr M once had a headache. He went into a room and everybody’s head exploded.

14. Tornadoes happen when Dr M tries a new tongue twister.

15. Dr M uses only 0.05% of his brain. Any more than that, and another Big Bang would happen.

16. Dr M’s mouth is classified by CIA operatives as a weapon of mass destruction. NASA calls it a ‘World Killer’.

17. Dr M beats Gary Kasparov in chess with a single move – King to your ass.

18. Getting into a debate with Dr M is considered by all insurance companies as suicide. The man himself is classified as an ‘act of God’.

19. Dr M can combine to form Voltron.

20. Before Dr M got through with them, My Little Pony was called My Big Ass Dinosaurs.

Diantara Hati ,Keiklasan dan Pengorbanan -Kisah Benar

Maaf dan saya meminta izin dari Apak untk meluahkan pandangan yang tersirat begitu lama disanubari saya melalui laman web Apak.
Permisi ya.

Pelajaran saya tidak lah seberapa tetapi saya boleh menilai sesuatu tanpa menggunakan emosi yang keterlaluan.

Saya rakyat Malaysia dan pekerja bawahan.Insiden ini berlaku sekitar tahun 1996-97 iaitu sewaktu Republic Indonesia bergelora dengan gerakan Reformasi untuk menjatuhkan Presiden Suharto dan GOLKAR nya.

Saya bertugas disebuah Hypermarket waktu itu.Di waktu masa bergeloranya Indonesia saya saksikan begitu ramai tetamu berbangsa China Indonesia di sekitar Kuala Lumpur.
Maaf sekali lagi,ini tidak sekali-kali bermaksud yang saya ini seorang yang menganut fahaman'Racistma'.Hanya sekadar menganalisa keadaan semasa pada waktu itu.
Seluroh hypermarket dari pagi hingga ke malam di hujani oleh tetamu kita dari INDO.

Berbelanja mewah, malah sales pada waktu itu begitu memerangsangkan.

Saya membuat penelitian selama seminggu, saban hari begitulah keadaannya.
Jestru telah seminggu berlalu,saya bertemu seorang customer dari Indo,menanyakan padanya akan di Indo.Perbualan kami hanya secara casual,dari iras rupanya dia berbangsa China Indonesia.Agak mewah kayaknya bersama-sama keluarga,

Begini soalan saya padanya.

Saya : Bapak dari Indo ya?

Bpk : Ya?Kenapa?

Saya : Kapan bapak libur kemari?(sambil tersenyum sinis)

Bpk : Udah kurang lebih sebulan?

Saya : Dimana ginap?

Bpk : Di Apartment Sunway

Saya : Keadaan tenat ya di Djak?(saya mengatur soalan)

Bpk : Kurang lebih begitulah penjelasannya.(saya terus ke persoalan pokok)

Saya : maaf ya pak? yang menjadi tanda tanya saya ialah,Indo negara'TUMPAH DARAH' bapak,dimana bapak dilahirkan dan mengali emas ketulan sedang bergelora,bagaimana bapak bisa meninggalkannya begitu sahaja bukankah ia seolah-oleh boleh diertikan bahawa bapak hanya merampok disiang hari dibumi sendiri walhal diwaktu-waktu negara bapak memerlukan bapak,bapak meninggalkan nya tanpa sebarang nota Good-Bye?
Itu tidak partriotic bukan?Itu namanya menderhaka kepada negara bukan?
(Tergaman dia dengan soalan tersebut)

Bpk : dia dan keluarganya terus meninggalkan saya segera dan tidak menjunjungi lagi di hypermarket tempat saya berkerja.

Begitulah Pak kurang lebih pengalaman untuk renungan kita bersama.
Saya tidak bermaksud menyalahkan sesiapa.

Tetapi teringat saya,sewaktu Rasullulah sedang diambang siratul maut,
Baginda berterusan menyebut,umati,umati,umati,

Terus....bagi saya bangsaku,bangsaku,bangsaku......
Bak kata pujangga Charil Anwar
'Aku ingin Hidup seribu tahun lagi'

Wassalam.